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[from http://www.tantra.org/lingam.htm ]

Subject: The Lingam Massage
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   Copyright (c) 1995 Jeffery Tye
   jefftye@ix.netcom.com
   
Background Information:

   The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam (pronounced
   LING-AHM, [LING rhymes with sing]) and is loosely translated as
   "Wand of Light." Its meaning is different in intention from the
   typical Western view of the penis (i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick,
   etc., words that may come from a limited perspective, depending
   on the intent of their usage). In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the
   Lingam is respectfully viewed and honoured, a "Wand of Light"
   that channels creative energy and pleasure.
   
   The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space the
   receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his Lingam.
   His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of facilitating and
   witnessing the man surrendering to his softer, gentler side. The
   Lingam Massage can be used as a form of safer sex (when latex
   gloves are used) and is an excellent process to build trust and
   intimacy. It is often used to help men heal from negative sexual
   conditioning and trauma.
   
   Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is often
   a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the
   Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (the
   equivalent to the female G-spot), and allow the man to surrender
   to a form of pleasure he may not be used to. From this
   perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.
   
   Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional sexual
   conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The
   Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more
   receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional
   perspective.
   
Preparation:

   Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and breathe
   deeply. Conscious, relaxed breathing will take you out of your
   mental process and will get you more into your feelings. Relax
   your belly and let go of the tension that most of us hold there.
   
   Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results
   occur when the bowels and bladder are empty.
   
   Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner through
   hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for
   an extended time), bringing both of you to a place of relaxation
   and trust.
   
Procedure:

   Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so
   he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered
   with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart
   with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees
   will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
   
   The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs.
   
   Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
   Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc.,
   to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe
   deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.
   
   Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based
   lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the Lingam and
   testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to
   not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum
   gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam,
   on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the
   testicles and anus. Take your time. You are giving a massage to
   an often neglected area of the body.
   
   CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex.
   
   Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure.
   Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull
   UP and slide off and then alternate with your left hand. Take
   your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change
   the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam/
   penis and then sliding DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right
   and left hands.
   
   Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange
   juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there
   are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other
   parts of the body. It is said many ailments can be cured by
   receiving a good Lingam Massage.
   
   NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this
   technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will
   probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard
   again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like
   riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and Softness are two
   ends of the pleasure spectrum.
   
   If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off,
   allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the
   massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and
   then backing off. Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of
   itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control
   by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the
   stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge
   to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to
   make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic
   without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two
   different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is
   a very expanded sex life.
   
   Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two ways to do
   this.
   
   One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and anus.
   There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe
   larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep
   inside and it may be intensely painful at first. Eventually, as
   this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand
   his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his
   Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your
   left hand. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation.
   It is aptly named the Million Dollar Point in Taoism.
   
   The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the anus. Many
   men, especially heterosexual men, are uncomfortable at first as a
   result of negative sexual conditioning. Be careful here and use
   lubrication. The key is to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure
   he is breathing as you slip a finger from your left hand into the
   anus about an inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a "come
   here" gesture. You will feel the prostate gland. Vary the
   pressure and speed of massage. He may want stimulation of the
   Lingam as you massage the Sacred Spot. Back off on the Lingam as
   he approaches orgasm and increase the pressure on the Sacred
   Spot.
   
   Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up during access
   to the Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember a traumatic event
   from his past. You, the giver, are in a place of trust and
   intimacy. Allow him to feel his emotions and be very loving, not
   trying to console or fix him, just let him feel whatever he needs
   to. Encourage him to scream, cry, moan, sob, if it feels
   appropriate. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that
   moment.
   
Ending the Massage:

   If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe
   deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if he
   has come close and held back at least SIX times before
   ejaculating. Holding back six times charges up the sexual battery
   with tremendous energy. It is then his choice as to where he
   wants to send this energy -- out with their ejaculate (the
   prevailing paradigm) or inward for other uses (men who master
   ejaculation are able to channel this energy into other areas of
   their being).
   
   When he feels complete with the massage gently remove your hands
   and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want to snuggle up
   together or you can leave the room and let him drift off into a
   meditative state. Allow him to fully experience his childlike
   innocence and magnificent male beauty.
   
   Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends and
   loved ones.
   
   Namaste,
   Jeffery
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