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Subject: A Brief Survey of Gnosticism

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A Brief Survey of Gnosticism

[This essay was originally written for credit in a Comparative Religions course I took last semester. It is only altered slightly from its original form. I realize that there are many fertile avenues of research which have been either slightly touched upon or ignored outright throughout this paper --- I apologize for this --- but it really was a case of too many fascinating leads to handle in a simple treatise such as this. I hope to fill in the gaps left by this essay with future installments focusing on different aspects of Gnostic belief and practice both past and present. This essay should, however, furnish you with a basic foundation of information with which to work, as it was intended to do. --- JSJ]

Gnosticism was a unique spiritual and religious system and movement whose heyday was during the first two centuries of the common era. During this period many different schools of Gnostic thought flourished. However, there has been considerable scholarly debate over where and when Gnosticism proper actually began. If we were to accept the words of the early church fathers, such as Irenaeus or Hippolytus, we would conclude that Gnosticism was nothing more than a heretical offshoot of Christianity. However, knowing that the early Catholic church would do just about anything to clear the way for their new and wondrous institution, including, but not limited to, twisting the truth or ignoring the plain facts if it did not favour their position, we can overlook their speculations on this matter as more polemical than historical and proceed to a brief investigation of the prevalent social, cultural, and religious trends of the time period. This should furnish us with a clearer idea about the beginnings of Gnosticism. To more thoroughly acheive this end it is necessary to backtrack to the Conquest of the East by Alexander the Great (334-323 BCE) and the emergence of the culture within which the many and wonderful threads of Eastern and Western thought and feeling were to merge.

As suggested above, the conquest of the East by Alexander would lead to a unification of the Eastern (being, in this context, roughly Egypt to the borders of India) and the Western (mainly the Greek, or Hellenic, world centered around the Aegean Sea) cultures into a common "Hellenistic" culture. Alexander's success in this venture was not all due to his valour and military prowess: the cultures and the conciousness of the people in both the East and the West were prepared, although in radically different ways, for such a merging to occur.

The pre-Alexander "Hellenic" world, as oppossed to the post-Alexander "Hellenistic" world, was a culture and society that was very much reserved for those who were Hellenes by birth. That is, the culture's moral and political ideas, as well as ideas about knowledge and life in general, were bound up with definite social conditions. Gradually, however, Hellenic culture would open up. This opening was made possible primarily by the philosophical reflections of various schools of thought that appeared on the Greek landscape prior to Alexander, such as the Cynics, the Sophists and the philosophers Socrates, Plato and Aristotle. The main elements contributed by these schools were the concepts of rationality, and logic and with these came greater awareness that society's laws and customs are conventions. This led to different reactions, some, such as the Cynics, suggested that because of this humans should move away from social conventions and others, such as Socrates, suggested that societal conventions should be upheld in the interests of law and order. Regardless of what the conflicting opinions on this matter were, the Age of Reason had dawned and thus Hellenic culture was heading away from particularism towards a more universal conciousness. To further this, the Stoics later advanced the notion that freedom is a purely inner-quality, not dependent on external conditions. This would suggest that any man, or woman for that matter, could be free if only they were wise and would then open up Hellenic culture to every rational being, i.e., every man. It was at this point that the people of the Hellenic world began to conceive of themselves as citizens of the cosmos rather than solely as citizens of the "Polis" or the state --- thus the term "cosmopolitan". This radical shift in a positive, expansive direction on the part of the Western world coincided with many changes of a passive, receptive nature in the Eastern regions of the world.

In the centuries preceeding Alexander's conquest, national and local beliefs (traditional religions) were gradually being transformed into theological systems which later evolved into rational doctrines. These changes would fit them for becoming elements of an international exchange of ideas. These changes were made possible by the uprooting of local cultures. For example, as far back as 597 BCE the Jews were exiled to Babylon. This event, while being an extreme hardship on the people, actually liberated Judaism from their lot as a Palestinian cult of Yaweh and allowed them to forward the concept of monotheism as a world cause, thus expanding their scope tremendously. A similiar situation would arise for the religion of the Babylonians in their due season.

Once the state of Babylon was overthrown by Cyrus II of Persia (539 BCE) the old-religion was no longer a state cult attached to the political center. This would force the Babylonian religion to rest on its spiritual contents alone and would lead to its eventual transformation into the reasoned system of Astrology. One other such incident I'll mention affected, in due course, the Persians.

Rather than being exiled as the Jews or conquered as the Babylonians, the old Persian religion of Mazdaism (commonly known as Zoroastrianism) willingly detached itself from its native Iranian soil to be carried throughout the East, from Syria to India, by the ruling nation. After the fall of the Persian empire to Alexander, Mazdaism would be faced with the same advantages and disadvantages of diaspora which was the lot of both the Jews and the Babylonians. As in the case of Jewish Monotheism and Babylonian Astrological fatalism, which were further developed due to the original dispersion of these religions, the concept of Theological dualism was extracted from Mazdaism. These three religious currents were arguably the main spiritual forces that the East contributed to the Hellenistic world. Interestingly, it would seem that the first "cosmopolitan" civilization known to history was made possible by catastrophes overtaking the original units of regional culture.

As can be seen from this rudimentary sketch, the Western world was perfectly fitted for the advent of a new cosmopolitan culture where Greek ideas and acheivements could be shared with the rest of the world. The East, sufficiently uprooted and dispersed, and probably made somewhat indifferent by their many conquerors, was reconciled into a passive state of acceptance to what the West had to offer. These conditions, more than anything, made Alexander's conquests possible and so widely successful.

After Alexander's conquest, the Hellenistic world became, for all appearances, a Greek secular culture. The state language was Greek and all writings were penned in Greek, utilizing Greek literary devices and styles. Different ideas were tolerated and ecouraged, but all were presented within a Greek, Hellenistic framework. It would seem at a glance that the Oriental influence had been overridden by the Greek culture. This was not the case however. The Oriental influence was there but was masked in the clothes of Greek language and thought. For instance, Astrological fatalism could be masked in the garments of Stoic cosmology and Theological dualism in the garment of Platonism. These currents of Oriental thought would work and develop and evolve "underground" as it were, within Greek, Hellenistic culture, utilizing the rational and analytical techniques of the Greek philosophers to shape their myths and symbols into logical systems of theology and rational doctrine until they were able to come to full light about three centuries later at the beginning of the Common Era.

The main currents of Eastern or Oriental thought that would emerge in what was fast becoming a Latin-Roman empire were Hellenistic Judaism and Alexandrian Jewish philosophy; Babylonian Astrology and magic; the spread of diverse Eastern mystery cults into the Hellenistic-Roman world and their evolution into spiritual mystery-religions; the rise of Christianity; the Gnostic movements inside and outside the Christian framework; and the philosophies of late antiquity, beginning with Neo-Pythagoreanism and culminating in Neo-Platonism. Since there were so many different thoughts and ideas abounding at this time, none of these spiritual movements could help but have syncretistic aspects. For example, Alexandrian Judaism was heavily overlaid with Platonic and Stoic elements. Christianity too had its syncretistic aspects, incorporating as its central theme the cycle of the slain and resurrected God which had been celebrated by other cultures under many different forms, including the mystery cults of Osiris, Orpheus, Dionysus, and Attis, etc.¹ The Gnostics exemplified the extreme of syncretism, they compounded everything, including; Oriental mythologies, Astrological doctrines, Iranian theology, elements of the Jewish tradition (whether Biblical, Rabbinical or Occult), and Christian salvation eschatology utilizing Platonic terms and concepts to elucidate their doctrines. One thing that all these currents had in common was that they were all of a decidedly religious, or spiritual nature. Also, they were becoming more interested in the concept of salvation, and their ideas about God were becoming more and more transcendent, which in turn would alter the idea and the goal of salvation. The positing of a radical dualism of realms of being was a common feature of the religion of this time, whether between God and the world, spirit and matter, soul and body, or light and darkness, etc. The author and Historian Hans Jonas in his book, The Gnostic Religions, describes the common religion of this time period as "a dualistic, transcendent religion of salvation."

This brief historical overview has hopefully given you a clearer idea as to the many different threads of thought and idea that were incorporated in what was to become known as Gnosticism. From here, I will narrow the scope of this essay to cover only those ideas and incidents that involve Gnosticism in particular.

The Gnostic teachers and philosophers were, first and foremost, individualists who produced their own literary and speculative works without having to subscribe to any particular set of beliefs. This situation, as you might imagine, led to the formation of many different schools of Gnosticism, all with their own particular points of emphasis. This was a point of particular friction between Gnostics and the early fathers of the Catholic church. Bishop Ireneaus of Lyon castigated the Gnostics, sneering that they were capable of producing a new gospel every day. The early church had no tolerance of concepts of symbolical or psychological truths or of unorthodox speculations about creation, the cosmos, God, human origins, or destiny. Taking all of this into consideration, it is still possible to identify certain unifying elements within all the various schools of Gnosticism It is to these common elements that I will now direct your attention.

The first and most obvious connection between the schools of Gnosticism was the concept of "Gnosis" or knowledge. Knowledge, according to the Gnostics, was the way of salvation. In the Gnostic use of the term, knowledge refers to the knowledge of God, rather than a sort of academic knowledge as the word was used by the philosophers of that time and of our own time. The ultimate goal of Gnosticism, then, was the knowledge of, or union with, God, who was conceived as completely transcendent and basically unknowable. This knowledge, once attained, transformed the knower by making him a partaker in the divine existence. Another main tenet that they all held in common was the doctrine of radical dualism, ie. deity is completely transmundane and is essentially alien to the Universe, the Universe being, as it were, the work of a malevolent and incompetent deity.

According to the Gnostics the world was neither created nor governed by the most high God. The world, then, was the work of lowly powers, or "Archons", which did not know God and actually obstructed the knowledge of God by man. As said before, the Gnostics believed that God was completely unknowable by natural concepts and that a sort of supernatural revelation and illumination was required to come to this knowledge. When this awareness was attained, it could then only be expressed in terms of negatives. The Buddhist conceptions of "not mind" and "nothing"; the Judaic-Quabalistic conceptions of the three veils of negative existence; the Taoist conception of the Tao; and, more recently, the researches into the Quantum realm of modern physics are all exemplitive of this concept. All involve states of mind, or existence, which are quite nearly impossible to express in terms of positive expression, as they deal with realms that seemingly transcend normal rational conciousness and modes of thought. This would seem to be why the Gnostics and other spiritual movements dealing directly with this level of experience so often utilize poetry of the most sublime order, where other more "rational" devices would fall short, to elucidate their experiences from beyond the veil.

Getting back to the "Archons", it was said that the Universe was their domain. The Universe could be compared to a cosmic prison with the Earth as its innermost dungeon. The Archons, which were attributed to the seven known "planets" (being Luna, Mercury, Venus, Sol, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn), collectively ruled over the world like warders of a cosmic prison. Through the Archons the world was subjected to what was known as "heimarmene" or universal fate. Physically, this refers to the so called laws of nature whose restrictions are hard to deny. Psychically, this would include the Mosaic law, which the Gnostics felt aimed at the enslavement rather than the liberation of mankind. In the Gnostic cosmology, the Archons actively barred passage of souls that sought to ascend after death in order to prevent their escape from the world and their return to God. The leader of the Archons was an entity known as the "Demiurge", a term borrowed from the "world artificer" in Plato's Timaeus. This entity was portrayed with the distorted features of the Old Testament God, whom the Gnostics thought of as a lower and even counterfeit God. Even though the Gnostics had an almost wholly negative conception of the world and man's place therein, it was their intention to balance this situation by positing a means of salvation whereby man could release himself from the prison of matter and know the most high God itself. To take account of this, they developed theories on the nature of existence to aid them in understanding the means and results of their earthly and spirtual experiences.

Most Gnostics agreed that man was composed of three principal parts: Flesh, Soul and Spirit or Pneuma. Man's origins were both mundane, that is, of the Archons, and extramundane, that is, of the Divine. The body and the soul were thought to be the products of the cosmic powers (the Archons or Demiurge). They were shaped in the image of the divine archetypal man and were animated by the psychical forces of the Archons. These "psychical forces" represented the appetites and passions of the "natural man" and each one directly stemmed from and corresponded to one of the cosmic spheres or Archons and served to make up man's psyche. It was through these, the body and the soul, that man was subjected to the tyrannical rule of the Archons and the heimarmene. The third component of man, the spirit or pneuma (also called the Divine Spark) was thought to be enclosed within the body and the soul and was a portion of the divine substance which had fallen into the world. In fact, some Gnostics believed that the Archons created the world for the express purpose of keeping the Divine Spark captive. But overall, they believed that the spirit of man was completely unconcious and ignorant of itself in its unredeemed state and that its awakening and liberation was only effected through direct knowledge of the divine. And it was just this question of how man comes to this knowledge that was the main focus of their endeavors. To understand their views on this primary fulcrum of their belief , we need to consider Gnostic salvation eschatology, which is the rationalization of the ultimate goal of their system.

The Gnostic doctrine of salvation was determined by extreme dualism. The spirit which is enclosed within the soul of man was believed to be just as alien to this world as God. The goal of Gnostic striving , then, would be the release of the "inner-man" from the world and his return to the divine realms of light. To accomplish this, man must know about the transmundane God and about himself: his divine origins, his present situation, and the nature of the world. As a famous Valentinian formula puts it, "What liberates is the knowledge of who we were, what we became; where we were, wherinto we have been thrown; whereto we speed, wherefrom we are redeemed; what birth is, and what rebirth [is] (Jonas, 45)" [brackets mine]. However, being bound in ignorance did not really help their odds of realizing all of these things. For this reason, they felt that man needed revelation to come to know these things. This could either come about through a personal revelatory experience, or could be delivered to mankind in whole or in part by a messenger from the world of light. This messenger, in order to deliver this information, would have to have outwitted the Archons on its descent and pass through the celestial spheres undetected. Once the messenger had arrived, the spirit of the receiving man would be awakened and the messenger imparted the saving knowledge from without. The knowledge received by the person illuminated included the whole of Gnostic myth, with all its teachings about God, man, and the world. In other words, the individual was informed of the essential nature of himself, his relations with the world in general, and his relations with God.² On a slightly more practical level, man received the "knowledge of the way" or the soul's way out of the world. The "knowledge of the way" was comprised of various sacramental and magical preparations for the soul's future ascent to God and the secret names and formulas that forced passage through each of the cosmic spheres. This seems to be a similiar concept, although the deities are not quite so malevolent as they appear in Gnosticism, as that of the Egyptians' 42 Assessors of the Dead which the soul must answer to upon death in order to enter the divine realms.³ After death, according to the Gnostics, those who were equipped with this Gnosis traveled upwards leaving behind at each sphere the psychical "vestments" contributed by it. Once man was free from the dross of the Earth, and the grip of the Archons and the Demiurge, he was free to re-unite with the Divine. On a larger scale this process was also believed to be part of the restoration of the deities own wholeness, which in pre-cosmic times had become impaired by losing portions of the divine substance. This was the sole reason for the deities involvement with the Earth in the first place and why his divine messengers were sent to the Earth to aid in the liberation of man. It was thought by the Gnostics that once this process of removing the light from the world was complete the cosmos would come to an end.⁴

With our survey of Gnostic eschatology complete we can now turn to the pressing question of Gnostic morality.

It has been shown that the Gnostics held the world, with its physical and psychical laws, in great contempt. To review, the world was conceived of as a great cosmic prison warded over and brought into existence by incompetent and malevolent deities whose sole purpose was the enslavement of man and the hinderance in him of all that is holy. This, naturally, and as the early church fathers were quick to point out in their numerous refutations of Gnostic theory and practice, can be seen as suggesting many possibilities for immoral or criminal behavior. However, the historical record of Gnostic transgression of moral law and the perpetration of crimes against humanity is virtually non-existent, especially when compared to the records of the Catholic church and other opponents of Gnosticism throughout the centuries. We can say, generally speaking, that Gnostics felt themselves to be sovereigns in the sphere of knowledge and the sphere of action. This was one of the main causes of their many conflicts with the early church. The Gnostics refused to submit to the authority of the Bishops and any other authority, both spiritual and political, on the grounds that they, having received or attained the Gnosis, were in a position to be their own authority in all matters of life. The idea of the Pneumatic (as they called themselves) as a sovereign in all spheres of endeavor led to the formation of two extremes within Gnosticism: the Ascetic and the Libertine. The Ascetic branch recognized through Gnosis the degraded nature of the cosmos, and chose to reduce contact with the institutions and conventions of the world so as to avoid further contamination by it. The Libertine, reasoning from the same principles, assumed the priveledge of absolute freedom and regarded the "Thou shalts" and "Thou shalt nots" promulgated by the false God of the Jews and the Christians as just another form of cosmic tyranny, imposed on the ignorant masses of mankind by the Archons through the medium of the Catholic church and other dogmatic religions. Further, they believed that the sanctions attached to such transgressions only effected the body and the soul and not the spirit, which, as mentioned earlier, was viewed as the only part of man which was truly of the divine. This "pneumatic libertinism", more than being simply indifferent permission of any act whatsoever, was a method that they believed directly contributed to the work of salvation by purposely going against the norms of the Demiurge and thus effectively thwarting the designs of the Archons. It was these last two reasons which essentially set them apart from their Ascetic brothers.

In conclusion it can be seen that Gnosticism, as it was in its early days, offered the seeker a unique spiritual and religious system by which he or she could experience directly the presence of divinity within, using techniques and methods not unfamiliar to the seeker of today. However, the march of what has come to be known by Thelemites as the Aeon of Osiris would soon trample this movement, at least in its most visible manifestations, under foot. By the Fourth century of the common era, the Gnostics had all but disappeared as organized schools of thought, largely due to the persecution they suffered at the hands of ardent Christian Bishops and devotees. Yet their influence was to be continually felt, although modified to a greater or lesser degree, in the generations of seekers and explorers of the depths and heights of human conciousness to come. Although ultimately falling prey to the advance of Judeo/Christian, or Osirian, doctrines and morality/reality, in many ways they were clearly the product of the Osirian age within which they flourished and many of their doctrines and beliefs are not compatible with our current point of view. However, they did manage to catch a glimpse of some aspect of existence and of conciousness that seems to have a broader, and perhaps Universal, validity. For their courageous leap into largely unchartered waters of human thought and experience, we must remain eternally grateful to these early benefactors of light and knowledge, "that transmitted the light of Gnosis to us, their successors and their heirs".

Holroyd, Stuart. The Elements of Gnosticism, Element, Inc. Rockport, Ma. 1994.

Jonas, Hans. The Gnostic Religion, Beacon Press, Boston, 1963.

Pagels, Elaine. The Gnostic Gospels, Weidenfeld, London, 1979.

¹ Incidentely, this would seem to be nothing more than a dramatization of the natural course of the Sun as it appears from the Earth, in his rising, noonday, setting and re-rising again the following morning ,only instead of it being conceived as a natural cyclical process, the ignorance of the people of these time periods led them to believe that the Sun actually suffered a physical death nightly and had to be resurrected every morning by priestly machinations. Of course we now enjoy a more accurate understanding of our solar system realizing that the sun neither rises nor sets but remains poised in a position of supreme balance in the heavens while we revolve around it.

² Judging by the wide variety of Gnostic schools of thought I would conjecture that in many respects this is a completely unique and personal religious experience, yet is similiar in enough respects with the experiences of mystics and sages of all races and climes to be capable of striking a sympathetic chord with other individuals who may have had similiar illuminations, thus making possible, in the first place, the formation of general doctrines and schools of thought.

³ Of course to students of the Qabbalah, Hermetic, or Thelelmic Magick the similarities in theory should be obvious, although the occultist of today can conceive of these names and formulas as simply methods of stimulating the activity of unconcious archetypal principles at work in his life or in the world at large, in order to generate a desired state of conciousness, which can then be experienced directly and understood more fully in the light of conciousness.

⁴ It must be mentioned that absolute belief in the Archons or the Demiurge as literally living in the celestial spheres is not a pre-requisite to practically utilizing this system, this is one of the great aspects of Gnosticsim which makes it immediately accessible to any seeker, as Stuart Holroyd wrote it in his book, The Elements of Gnosticism , "... [the Gnostics] teachings have a psychological relevance and appeal which supercedes any question of their literal truth. No Gnostic ever sought to coerce belief, for belief is not the way to gnosis. Truth is not manifest and accessible, it is covert and has to be diligently sought out. Gnostic literature assists the process of seeking, which is simultaneously a process of psychic self-exploration and growth. One does not have to believe that the Archons exist in the celestial spheres to understand that they exist and work their mischief in ones own psyche (pp 6-7)."

To Describe, Define, Express, Impress?
No to relate, Ah, To relate....But words, to Describe what?
Define what? Do they truly contain Anything?
Sometimes it seems that Words are just Not Enough...
Tools to Arranged, Oh so Cleverly and Originally....
Only to be knocked Down and Disassembled and thrown down
Into the Oblivion of the Abyss....

Then, floating back to the Surface, Exclaiming...,
"Here we are! Try us Again!"

And I can't help but wonder Why?
What's the Secret that they Conceal and Beckon to Me
To Decipher...
Planting a Garden and hoping that it will Bloom to bring Bounty
And even if it happens that there comes a Harvest at all,
The Garden returns to Nothingness.
Soil, Mud, and Muck....
Still Whispering and Urging......
"Plant!! Plant Us Again. Our Seeds are waiting
To Break through the Sod once more!!"

......."To be Reborn and Bring our Beauty and Bounty
into the world...only that we may Die
And be revived to do it yet Again!!"

Oh and Ode sung Unto None...
Who is it that She be who receiveth,
From all the Unseen in Herself
Who....She....That is None
and No Where Seen....?
Let the lines continue to Roll...to Flow off my mind
Whispers that come from that No-Where Seen place
of the Invisibles who swarm overy my Being
Screaming into my Space....

And yet only I....
WHat it is that I can Trace are Faint Reflections
That Grasp and Grovel to Capture and Enflame
THat which they scream At and To me
Urging me to Enflame...
And yet it is only I that remain...
And the Traces on this page
Which is all that marks their Passing...
Sending chills up my Spine,
Culminating in crazy laughs and giggles from inside of me
As They share with me some truly funny
And strange points of view....

And I can't help but Laugh
As these Voices come and go and then do Pass
As if on some Wild Wild Ass...
Traveling in Circle Around and About my Space..
Set aside for such a Bout...
A Bout of Words in Myriad Forms...
Born out of Nothing...
Oh...Apparently....

I ask, "Oh what Power, what Consumate,
Devoured and Dampend this Flame of Ecstasy
Driving me in my Gait,
Only to Dissapate this Sensation to a Slow Vehicle,
Drained of its Power?!"

Oh, Please, Greet my Being Once again
And do not leave Me,
Walk with me always and Whisper Silently in My Ear
You take me by the Hand
Like a Father to a Son
And Embellish me with Beauty and Wisdom,
So Solemn and Old,
As Ancient as You,
My Secret Guide and Companion...
The One No one sees walking With me and In Me...

"Where have you gone? Your Voice but a Memory;
Indistinct Words, yet full with their Grace."

But I know you are not far off, and Soon,
You will return to me,
And Whisper Silently in my Ear
and Fill me with your Splendour

APOLLO APOLLO

The Double-Edged Sword
Strikes Deep in the Heart
of Men....

...In This Man....
For the Man Acts,
While the Boy only Dreams...

And the Boys Heart Sinks...
For a Moment,
Into the Deepest Heart of Sorrow..
...This Boy is familiar with this Doctrine..
...Of Sorrow...

"All is Sorrow...
All Merely a Passing.."

...To Know Thy Sorrow...
WHat is this that "Passeth Away",
To Return Nevermore,
or Evermore.....
or to Taste this in Passing,
Only to Know and wait,
For it to come again and Passeth Away...

AYE INDEED!!!

Oh such strange Ironies
Patterns and the like
That Spirit plays on me.....!!!
Oh yes, and so it seems....
To Take Away
And Strip,
Oh.....All from my Face...
and anything of any Place....
"Here it is....Oh, there it goes.....and with you,
Ah, so No one Knows......"

Take it All Away.....

Method: Invoke the Bornless One as per directed in A.C. copy of The Goetia as to the phases of the waxing moon. Ritual content itself will follow the outline of XXV, centering, invokation, meditaion for x time, XXV. There is a certain amount of flexibility in the outline to provide an expanse region of development to incorporate and mutate the invokation in accordance with personal magickal technique and creativity.

Dates of ritual: Jan 31, Feb 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12.

1-31 / #1 at approx 9:45pm.
Sol in Aquarius
Luna in Aquarius / S. Node
Incense: Amber (for Ambergis of Kether per 777)

XXV --- Good.

Since I was unfamiliar with the flow, rhythm, and vibration of the ritual, I read with a passionate and authoritative voice while vibrating the barbarous names in a low, balanced, and somewhat monotonus fashion. I stood in the center of the Temple and held the candle aloft for light. Fleshly fire throughout with alternating waves of hot and cold flashes. There were times of utter calm and unfailing confidence. Section Shin was the most firey and intense --- no fear --- just heat and adrenaline. A deep calm and stillness ensued in the following section Mem.

The candle was placed back on the altar, I struck 3-5-3 on the bell (prompted by an intuition), and performed the meditation standing in the center of the Temple. The "space" in the meditation did not seem any different than that of starting other non-pre-invokatory meditations except that the interior darkness seemed pregnant with the Light beyond. I further tried to penetrate the veil separating myself and the Light by an effort of sheer concentrated will, but could only raise the fleshly fire. In a period of deep calm, a voice (my own, but subtly not my own) corrected my meditation by prompting me to "continually rise". This I immediatly remembered from meditational workings from years ago (TheBook of Defeat?) and felt myself begin to rise. My rising led to the vision of a purple star-point high in the distance --- this did I rise toward; this was I drawn to. During this rising, there were always appearent negatives that tried to keep me from the goal --- the myriad voices of my internal masses: inferior, obnoxious, sarcastic, and insulting. A Led Zeppelin song from LZ III also began to play over and over from the depths. After these were overcome by sheer determination of endeavor and continual rising, I was met by another deep calm and a star-scape vista and I heard a conversation between an older man and a young boy, in voices that reminded me of "play- voices" I used to use when I myself was a boy. "Every man and every woman is a star," says the man. "Which one is mine?" asks the boy. "The one which is no one else's," replies the man. "How am I to find it?" questions the boy. "It will find you," answers the man. I asked the voice its name and was met by a garbled reply that was very faint and hard to hear as well as the darkening of the scene. I prodded further and asked if the voice could spell its name in Hebrew for me and was met with Aleph Zayin Nun- and several vague characters beyond. I asked for further clarification and was met with a darkness thicker than before.

At this point I preceived a presence, much larger than me and behind me and to the right, which I sensed was evil toward me. The other voices of negativity returned. For a moment I just listened but then broke into a heavy banishing segment which may have lasted several minutes and was an elaboration of "Apo pantos kakidiamonos!" from Liber XXV. Finally, I was again in silence and I heard my own voice (though not guided by the part of me conducting the meditation) swear the Oath of the Accomplishment of the Great Work and then begin to tag all kinds of classifiers onto it: whys and becauses to make the actual work slim to being done compared to all the adversity that such tags place on it. At this, I interrupted, seeing the game that I've been playing for so long in a way similar to this, and I swore to accomplish the Great Work: period. No classifiers, no excuses: just to accomplish it no matter what. Then the previous presence from the star-scape returned and I again asked for its name and it plainly and distinctly replied "AZURON". I asked if it could be translated into Hebrew and it replied that it could. I asked how the word was to be used and of what sort of word it was. The voice responded that the word was made of letters which behold their own prophecies and that they all contain gold within. At this, the vision closed and I felt the meditation to be ended.

I brought myself back to normal conciousness by deep breathing and channelled all excess energy into the ground. XXV performed with definite clearing effect.

Observations: AZURN translated directly into Hebrew is Aleph (1) + Zayin (7) + Vau (6) + Resh (200) + Nun-f (700) == 984. According to 777 this corresponds with only one recorded item: "The Beginning of Wisdom" and is taken of Psalms.

Overall, I feel that I had much too much lust of result during the whole practice. I wanted effects and wanted to experience something, but exactly what I am uncertain. Even so, there were times during the practice that were completely free of such want, parts wherein I was doing it for no other reason than its doing --- and in this it was delivered from the lusting of result. Also, I felt immediatly after the ritual was finished that I greatly decieved myself during the meditation, especially the bit with the voice's name. I thought at the time that the practice was no different than any other meditation wherein I would solicit any voice and start asking it questions and to give me names. I also regarded all of the effects during the meditation --- the fleshly fire, the star-point, the voices, the calms --- to be essentially no different than other meditational experiences I've had. This led me to round about on the Preliminary Invokation itself as being worthless. To this, and while walking outside, I reminded myself with a clear and strong voice, arisen automatically in response to this afront, that it was only the first practice and that all vistas and meditational voices hold some kind of worth and that indeed, maybe the whole practice was mostly bullshit, but that I could not deny the plausability of the advice to "continually rise" and of the vision of the purple star-point that I aspire toward and that draws me nearer. Indeed, I could not deny this. All questions concerning the ritual's practice ceased at that moment.

2-2 / #2: time 9:20pm - 10:31pm
Sol in Aquarius
Luna in Pisces / N. Node
Incense: Amber (for Ambergis of Kether)

XXV --- Good.

Invokation was much more deeply felt than #1, I seemed to be gaining a unity with the flow and rhythm of the text. I experimented with different vibrational techniques: singing, different tones of voice, etc. Several times I gained "utter flow" in the vibration of the barbarous names, which is the quality of being in absolute concentration of what is going on, but not having to do a single thing for the desired accomplishment. And then at other times, I felt that I really had to force the barbarous names to come out in an affectual rhythm and speed. Again, I experienced a rising of fleshly and mental fire at section Shin, and a calming at section Mem; although, this time seeming more "serious".

After the invokation, I performed a quick neck stretch and assumed the Lotus posture and proceeded to meditate for ? minutes. Immediatly, the meditation became very apex-oriented to a point above my head and I noticed that the darkness again seemed pregnant with the Light behind, except that this time there were more "lumps" therein and the whole field of vision was not so much like uniform static like #1. I felt myself drawing up to the apex above my head, rushing with my intense fleshly fire, and recited the Anthem from Liber XV. At the completion of the Anthem, my conciousness was drawn into what felt like a "tube" where (contradictorily) the space also seemed infinite in all directions. Herein I also beheld a great sense of beauty. This vision then closed and I preceived, though did not readily see, a Sun directly above me. Trying to gain a more stable and visual connection, I imagined the Earth's Sun in a blue sky, which was easy to obtain, and then cut it and pasted it into a dark sky filled with distant stars. Automatically, I began to contemplate the scale of the Bornless One, and where upon the Tree of Life SHe fits. Kether was a recurrent answer to the numerous ways that I went about the meditation, even though the Sun symbolism led me to think that I was preceiving some aspect of Tipharet. Even so, I reminded myself, the Father is in the Son.

Fire then rushed up from the base of my spine, up my neck, over my face and head to the apex of my head where I seemed drawn up into the flame above me. I began to get cataclysmic flashes of the coming of the Light, as if I were being tested to see what my reaction would be if, indeed, the event happened. At this same time, Z (the household cat) began to meow continually and pace around me. I was distracted and sunk into Light pregnant darkness. I tried to regain the level I was at before but was only met with a clear vision of a Sumerian (or Babylonian) King's head from a statue which transformed into a horned goat with cobras behind it. I banished the vision and found it easy to get back to a "higher" level of peace and calm and fleshly fire, but felt also that the link previously maintained was ended for the night. I then beheld another vision, one of an autumn Maple tree with browning leaves in a yellowish field with other trees not to far off in the distance. I watched the wind blow the leaves, and the branches sway, and realized that the tree that I was seeing was that of the matured sapling that I was planted under upon my death. The trees in the distance were the important people in my life, also planted in the same way as I. At first I am discouraged because no other trees are near me, and I feel alone. But then I also notice that the more distant trees don't have any trees close to them either. Automatically, I answer myself that our seeds will grow the forest that will fill up the space between us.

At this, the meditation naturally ended.

As I stretched out and let the blood begin to flow back into my legs, I thought about X and was met with the clear vision of the 3 of Swords, and truly felt that "Separation and Loss of Friends" was indeed the case.

XXV --- deep and powerful, with definite sense of clearing.

2-4 / #3 9:20pm to 10:47pm
Sol in Aquarius
Luna in Aries / N. Node
Incense: Amber (Ambergis of Kether)

XXV --- Strong and sonorus.

3-5-3 on bell after XXV to mark the beginning of the invokation. Deeply felt recital of the text which was passionate and flowing. Vibrations of the barbarous names were sung with much better flow than #1 or #2. At times, I felt rapt away by the intonations and again experienced the "utter flow" defined in #2, although of a more constant nature in this practice. Due to an oversight, the incense, which is usually lit before the invokation, was not lit until after. This did not cause any major breaks or uncertainty.

Lotus position meditation for ? minutes after a quick neck stretch. Even though the interior darkness was pregnant with Light, I felt it to be more akin to that of #1 than of #2; although, at times, there where large swatches of bulging darkness that looked as though they would burst forth with the Light at any moment.

There seemed to be quite a bit of negativity about the practice as I nearly broke the meditation to get my Tarot cards and do a throw while still inflamed. This idea was actually thought of earlier, but was not followed up on because I didn't quite see what the benefits of such a practice might instill. At any rate, the voice urging me to do the reading likened my fleshly fire and lofty conciousness to a drug buzz. At this, I calmly reaffirmed (from today's mid-afternoon dream ~.~) that "I dwell in the embrace of the beloved" and was met with what seemed to be the total activation of the column from Ajna, to Anatta, to Muldahara. The link was intense and I nearly felt as though I would be ripped apart. From here my contemplation moved automatically on to the unification of opposites, wherein I felt myself to be inhaling as well as exhaling at once; to be full of thought as well as empty of thought; to be enflamed with the divine as well as in the uttermost hell; to be performing a magickal practice while not performing a magickal practice; in short, fulfilling all of my potentials while not doing anything at all.

After the union of opposites phase ended, I realized that I myself contain all of my possibilities and that everything manifesting in one's reality is the result of a choice. Granted, sometimes a choice does not really seem like a choice because of personal historical patterns and conditioning, but, in fact, it still is --- even though it may take great forces to loosen those patterns or conditionings in order to be able to make the choice. I saw this then at the level of the world at large, and came across my contention that religion is definitely the most powerful of all weapons of change in the world, and that what people need to transform the world into one that is happiness oriented and not some all-powerful neurosis of weak joy is a proper religion to align their biological and intellectual needs. And then the idea whipped around and I asked myself the same question: why do I need religion? Herein I saw the heirarchy of nature, and its extenuation into the realms of the spirit. I saw my chain --- the powers above me and my powers below --- reaching into the vastness of infinity, flowing from Kether, through Tiphareth, and finally to me at Malkuth. I confirmed my desire to carry out the nature of my chain and to not cause clogs or kinks in its flow of energy by attempting to discipline myself with patterns that are alien to its nature.

Then my own voice and yet not my own voice (it being much stronger), began to speak. It demanded that I should always appeal to Nature as a guide, reconciler, and balancer; to have utter truth, integrity, and honor when fighting for what I intuitively feel is right, and to not be afraid of saying what needs to be said; and to carry forth the Camp of Friends and establish its way in the world. During this portion of the meditation I felt very close to my Higher Self, and was comfortable hearing the voice, knowing its honesty.

The meditation did not end abruptly like #1 and #2, but seemed just to kind of gradually fade away after all was said and done.

XXV --- Good, but vibration was hoarse from the invokation. It seemed almost "done before anything was done", nearly by just my intent to do it.

2-6 / #4 9:37pm to 11:04pm
Sol in Aquarius
Luna in Aries / N. Node
Incense: Amber (for Ambergis of Kether) and Mastic (for Mercurial potential).

I performed a full Neck and Back Stretch exercise before any of the formal ritual working. I did this to release bound up tension that had been building over the past couple of days, due to stress and bike riding. I felt very relaxed after its performance and saw it as a banishing ritual in its own regard.

XXV --- Good.

The invokation was flowing and natural with somewhat of a sorrowful edge to it. In the diary entry that was written immediatly after the ceremony, I stated (although not to articulately): "--- slow and somewhat sorrowful --- not of any planned account, that's just what came out --- what the ritual fit tonight." Even so, the invokation was quite intense, with my vibration getting better, and definite risings of fleshly fire and exalted conciousness.

I decided before the invokation to work with the Tarot idea that I had thought of previously --- just letting however I felt after the invokation guide the throw. This presented a problem in practice. After the invokation, I assumed the Lotus and began to meditate. When I received a vision of a middle aged man with dark long hair and a beard wearing a purple, yellow, orange, red tie-die type shirt, I took this as a symbol of Mercury and proceeded to pick up the deck and shuffle. I was initially prompted to divide the pack into 8 stacks descending in a straight line. This I did. I was then prompted to choose, in turn, 8 smaller decks of 8 cards each. From there I was to determine the nature of the throw. I rebelled at this because 8 decks of 8 cards each is 64 total cards --- nearly as many as reside in the book itself. I decided to go another route. Further searching my conciousness for how to proceed, I was prompted to concentrate on Thoth as the Moon God and remain balanced on the Path of the High Priestess --- as her planetary aspect is the Moon, and she is the way of balance across the Abyss. So, with clear mind, and concentrating on Thoth and the High Pristess, I threw the cards in my standard fifteen card layout. Only one problem of this endeavor arose, and it had to do with the final three cards. I was distracted by the previous information that I had gotten through the cards and did not have a clear and concentrated mind when I drew them. I rethrew the final three cards after re-establishing the clarity of which the other cards were chosen, but I still felt that they may have been inaccurate because of the break in the draw before their throw. However, it is interesting to note that before I drew the Sun card I preceived in clarity the Sigil of Baphomet. The complete throw was as follows:

Direct transcription of note-diary entry after the ritual:
"Sword heavy. S[ignificator] on target & groups 2 & 3 make sense --- problems that must be addressed. 4 & 5 more obscure.
1.) Peace of mind at work due to social scene disintegrating.
2.) Pretains to my conflict of wanting to control young willful women and of what my ideals in relationships are. Cruelty when control is not had --- write offs, sweeping statements.
3.) Pretains to my old psychology interfering with the G.W.
4.) The new psychology being established.
5.) (Perhaps untrustworthy due to an initial misthrow because of unclear mind. Reshuffled & threw --- Sun chosen after seeing the Sigil of Baphomet.) Accomplishment of the G.W."
After the throw and its initial contemplation, I gathered the cards back together and brought myself back to normal conciousness.

XXV --- Good.

2-8 / #5 9:30pm to 10:55pm
Sol in Aquarius
Luna in Taurus / N. Node
Incense: Amber (for Ambergis of Kether)
XXV --- Very good. Definite clearing effect. Very strong and reverberant.

The invokation was sonorus, flowing and much more natural than all previous. The vibrational song has developed to a very appealing operatic-like degree. Strong heat, sweating, fleshly fire, and exalted conciousness throughout, which started after the first vibration and the realization that it was "connecting". At the first vibration of the Tau section, I preceived a "color change" in the light reflecting off of the script. The color of the light shifted from a yellow to an orangish-red. I thought that it might have been due to the wick burning without wax and so glanced at the upheld candle, continuing with the invokation, and noticed nothing abnormal. As I refocused on the paper, the red tint presisted. The "Iao: Sabao" ending was vibrated in a way suitable to the end of the spoken invokation --- something that has been absent in all previous practices.

I assumed the Lotus posture and began to meditate. Fleshly fire was prevalent from the start --- rising to the apex above my head. I dwelt in Light pregnant darkness, observing the rising fire, and began to wonder why no thoughts were coming to mind. It became appearent that there were no immediate constrictures in my psyche to overcome: I had felt comfortable and easy all day. I then moved my meditation onto higher matters, but only after attending to a couple of more mundane, though not problematic, concerns. I remembered the name of the resturant that I could not recall during an earlier conversation with Y: "Minder Binder's". I also received the thought that I should write my English paper on how compulsory education crushes the nature of children more than it allows them to develop their True Wills. In this regard, I also had the thought --- delving into human history --- that just because the world has been dominated by western culturo-religious belief patterns for close to the past 2000 years, it in no-wise means that those patterns are representative of the total aspiration and endeavor of mankind.

I then received a flash that initiated the meditation to cosmic proportions, but balked at its undertaking. Immediately, I questioned why this balking should be so. There was no answer: appearently its negation grew out of general fear. I crushed the thought of "holding back until another day", and proceeded to perform a willed progression from microcosm to macrocosm --- moving from my physical body in the apartment, to the North American continent itself, to planet Earth, and finally to the Sun. Immediatly upon reaching the preceptual field of the Sun, at the center of the solar system, I was consumed in very intense fleshly fire and received an impression of the intricate though clear energy patterns of the Sun itself and the planetary forces acting upon it. I preceived this directly --- although through what facility of preception is hard to define. Simultaneously, my inner chest felt warm and pressurized, lines of abstract force (in yellows, reds, and greys) moved before my eyes, and my conciousness was centered --- although in an everchanging mode of balance. At this time I felt that all of the points of my spinal column were connected with rushing fire and that the energy was flowing uninhibited between them.

The vision then moved to my preception of our local star group, then of our place in the galaxial arm, then away from the galaxy to the preception of our local galaxy group and beyond. After an indeterminant period of time, I was drawn back to the Sun and felt myself to be "consumed in the fire of the beloved". A thought of the Tree of life then arose, and I saw afresh that Tiphareth is in the center of the Tree surrounded by the planets as is the Sun of the solar system surrounded by the same. A question issued forth that I don't think that I've had before, namely: when did the ancient Qabbalists first associate the planets to the Sephira? I then tried to pool my knowledge of ancient cultures to find which one of them had the initial preception that the Sun is the center of our immediate part of the universe and not the Earth. I also thought of Gallileo's part in this line of research. Unfortunatly, my knowledge of these matters was insufficient to provide me with the answers and so the vision moved on with these questions unresolved.

After the historical contemplation, a new wave of fire consumed me --- the whole body participating in the transference of energy --- and I began to preceive a low pitched, nearly subliminal, hum in my left ear. This was accompanied by a higher pitched note in my right ear that sounded as if it were zooming past my ear at a great speed, receding, then passing again. A subtle change of conciousness accompanied these hums that nearly felt akin to that conciousness experienced during catelepsy, but not quite so. My first reaction was to be defensive against these hums, but I then realized that there was nothing negative in my meditation to denote they themselves as being negative or evil against the meditation. I let them presist and began to experience a sort of unity among the fleshly fire, the patterns of abstract force (still felt and seen), and my change in conciousness. Even though it was somewhat painful at first to be in contact with the odd headspace that they yeilded, I felt that the pleasure is in letting them flow free with the energies, and from this comes "elastic strength". And this "elastic strength" also turned out to be an accurate description for how the energy patterns of the Sun and its accompanying forces interact amongst each other. I then had the vision of a typically large headed alien with large black eyes and grey skin. I felt that its large cranium was representative of its whole brain being active at once, and that this was a symbolic projection of my current meditative state. Next to this, I also felt that the alien figure was "familiar" to me, that perhaps I have encountered it before, although I cannot remember where from. The meditation ended naturally by the vision fading into darkness.

XXV --- Very good. Like it was done before it was done.

Note: My mood for the rest of the night was of subtle happiness and fullness: a smile always just below breaking forth. The lower pitch hum remained until I fell asleep around 12:30am.

2-10 / #6 9:44pm to 10:31pm
Sol in Aquarius
Luna in Gemini
Incense: Amber (for Ambergis of Kether)

XXV --- Good.

There was nothing wrong with the invokation, but it was not as powerful as last time. Very tired from a stressful day --- not really carrying out work with much enthusiasm. Mildly depressed from realationship stress due, in part, to this practice.

Meditation was cut short due to my being tired. Fleshly fire ocurred throughout as well as a rising/floating sensation. In response to my overall ill-enactment of the ritual, I made a short and balancing plea to Adonai for WSTMGW and that IWNPLA. Amen. I felt a strong sense of disconnectedness from the world, even though I, at the mundane level, felt okay. "No spice sparked from love."

XXV --- Good.

2-12 / #7 9:50 to 10:24pm
Sol in Aquarius
Luna in Cancer
Incense: Amber (for Ambergis of Kether)

XXV --- Decent.

Whole ritual passed as though I were sleep-walking through it. Nary any spice due to depression from stress and new-job ills. Whole meditation seemed thwarted and ill-done. Things felt "out of kilter" and nothing that I enacted seemed to put things straight. Fleshly fire was had throughout, and that before the pregnant darkness, but even that seemed commonplace and without promise. Practice was allowed to dissolve in peace, knowing that there will be another window for this working to be done in absolute right regard when my day to day affairs are not appearently working against it: in work, school, or sociality. I hate that I can gain only glimpses and fleeting feelings of those things in which I utterly fulfill my potentials. It is madening not to be able to maintain that supreme point all the time. Yet even the slight visions of that potential are enough reason to keep with the persuit, and to more fully align myself with its utter fulfillment and accomplishment.

XXV --- Good.

~.~ The mid-day dream (transcribed directly from the dream diary): Mid-afternoon nap @ approx. 2:49pm wherein upon trying to fall asleep several cateleptic jolts, although non-cateleptic, jolts occured. I felt on the verge of "something" that one part of me greatly feared and that yet another part of me did not. I became fearless & was consumed in fire (of the intense electrical nature) & felt myself float quickly upwards off the couch, pulled up by the center of my chest (the idea of an AmeroIndian Sundance, where the aspirant hangs from his chest by hooks, instantly came to mind), three centers (ajna, anatta, & muldahara) activated. How long this lasted I do not know, but a struggle was still appearent from the lower regions. Even though, I was able to silence the fearing questions, although at each attack was brought to a lower space: envisioning grotesque faces in contorted anger. Finally, I was able to completly silence all the voices & proclaim purely and without forethought: "I dwell in the embrace of the beloved." At this point, the dream ended: skin warm, centers alive, & my skin crackling with dissipating fire. It is interesting to note that during the actual dream my visual sensory preceptions seemed expanded to infinity and that upon awakening, instead of feeling the "sick" & "electrocuted" feeling associated with my normal bouts of catelepsy, I felt relaxed, at peace, loved, and clear just as if I had had a very intense orgasm. I lay for a while, basking in the stillness, comfort, & silence. At present, all centers feel connected with anatta, which is slightly rumbling though with something seemingly different than typical adrenaline quakes.

I just remembered that at one of the preliminary jolts I had the vision of the thick type of candle that Ive been thinking of buying instead of the thinner ones, so as to make my meditations worry free of the candle burning low. It seems reasonable that this was an affirmation to make my meditation practices more frequent & of longer duration.

The previous diary log was presented in hopes of confronting several issues, both directly related to the practitioner himself and indirectly related to the state of magical/mystical practice as carried forth today. When viewing the log as a whole, it seems (and feels) to be of a very detracted nature --- as evidenced from the aspirant's loss of verve for the practice (for whatever reasons) through the last two events. As obvious as this may seem, there is still a deeper thread that must be exposed in order to place the results of the experiment far beyond any swaggered write-off of the whole affair. Also, in regard of the conditions that the operation was performed, several notes (and perhaps several essays) need be made to reconcile the diverse snares and pitfalls that hamper today's modern practitioner of magickal and mystical arts. All of this in due time, and, of course, in proper regard of the aspirant's current corrections of previous errors and his absolute privacy in matters that are no one's business but his own. We are thankful, as far as he has gone, in allowing us to utilize a record of his work and will not debauch his honesty and integrity by assuming a false apparition of superiority over him --- as we are all climbing in the same range of beautiful, and sometimes treacherous, mountains and must grant the same amount of respect for his own self as we grant our own.

Frater Anubis, being of a very intuitive nature, accurately sussed the possible developments of the working and allowed for the variation of the ritual and/or meditation's practice. This is evidenced by his nearly ostentatious decision to carry forth a more "horizontal" endeavor (that of the Tarot reading) rather than staying with meditation proper, and its more full representation of "verticalness", in order to somehow physically "prove" that his efforts were not in vain. This, as was seen, led to nothing but internal confusion during a period of meditation. There were many thoughts at this time running through his mind (as permitted my ear so that a feasable psychological representation of his state at that time could be made in this essay) as were also many questions. He seemed to have known that his Tarot practice, not at that time as constant a discipline as it had once been, could have been flawed from the start --- in both interpretation and enactment. But heedless of his uncertainty, he went ahead and provided himself with a throw that may or may not have been of the Truth. The reading, in greater detail, will be gotten to shortly.

Aside from the above, his enthusiasm for the operation was supreme --- at the beginning. He allowed nothing to stand in his way: he primed and purified his conciousness by his best known ritual arts for two weeks beforehand; he made a study of his previous mystical and invocatory practices to find any missed ideas or concurrent threads that had gone before unnoticed; he banished his daily worries out of the way of his greater will; and he dedicated all of his sexual activity unto the Union which he sought --- whether alone or with company. This, as a permanent fact of his working, stands appearent in his first three endeavors: which yeilded him sublime glimpses of his ultimate goal accomplished. This alone could have carried him through if he would have avoided two key breaks of his operation's current, namely: that of the answering of a lover's insistent questions about what he was up to and the partaking of drink with the aforementioned "broken freind" who had done nothing in the past but weasle into the aspirant's magickal/mystical reality with the sole intention to deconstruct his findings as "psychosis" and "mellodramatic fantasizations". In itself, this may have been one of the primary causes of carrying out the Tarot throw, even though it was questioned from the start. It can also be seen that there was only one productive practice after the Tarot throw, and that leaping into the vast abstracts of nature itself --- quite a different angle from what his first three endeavors were concentrated around, and perhaps showing a further subconcious need to present "usable facts" to those who have not had the same experience as he: the same probable reason behind the Tarot throw itself. The question arisen from this sojourn, that of "When did the Qabalists associate the Sun with the central Sephira of the Tree of Life?" is a definite reaching out to others to validate his own experience.

Even though the whole practice can be considered a failure, it must also be adjudged, in part, a success. For there were instances therein of some of the most intense visions and emotio-physical effects since the time of the practices in his The Book of Defeat? (1989ev) and the lesser, although more tantalizing and accessable, The Book of J (1991ev) --- albeit, more crude and unclear due to his then current environmental configuration. From this he has gained a deeper insight into his needs and weaknesses, and, through talks with yours truly, a fuller understanding of what is absolutely essential to the performance of his Primary Working and of those things which are merely secondary and excusably forfieted in sacrifice upon the altar of the Great Work..

Getting back to the Tarot throw proper, we will review what he saw therein immediatly and then draw upon our understanding at present to uncover avenues of meditation that were then unseen. To wit:

Direct transcription of note-diary entry after the ritual:
"Sword heavy. S[ignificator] on target & groups 2 & 3 make sense --- problems that must be addressed. 4 & 5 more obscure.
1.) Peace of mind at work due to social scene disintegrating.
2.) Pretains to my conflict of wanting to control young willful women and of what my ideals in relationships are. Cruelty when control is not had --- write offs, sweeping statements.
3.) Pretains to my old psychology interfering with the G.W.
4.) The new psychology being established.
5.) (Perhaps untrustworthy due to an initial misthrow because of unclear mind. Reshuffled & threw --- Sun chosen after seeing the Sigil of Baphomet.) Accomplishment of the G.W."

A straight reading of this throw (without reference to the history here presented) may be as follows: Refuge at work is had by the Querent due to the loss of freinds and the psychology pertinent thereto [1]. The Ruler is mentally cruel to a young woman, full of energy and drive, [2] because of his current efforts to rise above those things which keep him from his goal [3]. What he seeks is influenced by a part of himself that needs to be free in both physicality and emotion [4] which would hence lead him to peace of mind through the union of his opposites and allow him to experience life through the essence of the Sun and its orbit throughout the cosmos extant [5].

It must be noted that the throw, in his original interpretation, could have been used to great advantage --- regardless of what the impetus for its enactment was. There is nothing therein that denotes a negative towards the operation itself, but only the plain statement of those forces acting upon the aspirant at the time. While this is seen from the outside, from an objective point of view, things were not so from the trenches of the aspirant's practice. Instead of rebalancing himself with what new knowledge he had acquired (which is a normal use of divination), he chose to let things stand as they were and dwell upon the flawed effort of the throw itself. If he would have perhaps silenced those external voices (those of his lover and "broken friend"), which were so much similar to those internal voices which he heard at the practice's outset, he may have been able to complete the operation without such a feeble last couple of exercises --- still, perhaps, slightly unbalanced in regard of his initial working, but nonetheless better off than with what he finally ended up with. If the throw can be used for his reflective purposes at present, numbers 4 & 5 are the keys wherewith a further operation can be built: using these groupings of force as a start-point to align himself with the ultimate goal of his endeavor.

It seems a terrible blight upon mystical endeavor that day to day affairs and situations must wiegh so heavily upon the work. I assume that most all practitioners have experienced this detraction in one form or another. This, to both Frater Anubis and myself, is a primary concern, leading to the question: How are we to establish a stable environment where all the necessary and essential facets of life are provided for and wherein the peace and silence is expanse enough to allow for primary workings without mundane distraction? The answers to this question range from the simple and near sighted "get rid of this person or that situation" to the more complex and long term "create a reality that is fashioned solely around the accomplishment and enactment of the Great Work". Neither, at first sight, are easily reconciled, as they both require the greatest conviction and psychological strength to achieve (and yea! nearly even the strength and drive acquired from That Union before it is even had!) But as the former is merely a "quick fix" to augment one single portion of reality, leaving others synergetically amassed in opposition, the latter stands as the "quintessence" of reality change. It is seen as a paramount operation of both banishing those influences negative to the work and of evoking those elements which are absolutely condusive and harmonious to the fullfillment thereof.

On this note, I will say, in closing, that there is an idea forming in many diverse minds (both local and extant) pretaining to the establishment of such a place as mentioned above one in which the Great Work is a cultural fact and not a cultural oddity, and is accepted as such without hinderance. If you are interested in following (or contributing to) this developing thread of essays centralized around this theme, I recommend that you (re)familiarize yourself with Aleister Crowley's idealistic visions of Thelemic Culture, in its fullest breadth. For jump points into this blue-gold yonder, I suggest Part III, "Purgatorio", from Diary of a Drug Fiend; the latter portions of The Confessions of Aleister Crowley dealing with his idealized representation of the Abbey of Thelema, aside from those things which it may have actually been; Liber CXCIV: An Intimation with Reference to the Constitution of the Order, from The Equinox 3(10), for its wholeness of vision regarding how a free society might operate without undue interference from above to below or below to above; and Liber Aleph chapters 34 through 43 for preliminary grounding-points in the enculturation and education of children --- the key element for the sustenation and coherent advancement of a highly evolved society.

All comments, critique, essays, and avenues of research along these lines are fully welcomed by myself c/o HHMLE.

OUT.