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To: thelema93-l@hollyfeld.org (Thelema93-Listserv) From: "nagasiva@luckymojo.com"Subject: Broken Link #1 Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 21:11:00 -0700 (PDT) by request and because I think it is hilarious: ______________________________________________________________________ excerpted from: EMAIL WITHOUT TEARS Volume 2 Issue 7 9307.01 e.v. at http://www.luckymojo.com/.soc/.thel/oto/.ewt/EWT2.07 _______________________________________________________________ The Broken Link (Serving the expelled, the disenfranchised, the suspended, the lapsed, the excommunicated, the members on bad report and the vaguely dissatisfied .) Volume 1 Number 1, 5 e.h.b., 1991 e.v. Do what you're told shall be the whole of the law. __________________________________________________ A MESSAGE FROM MASTER BETA It is a privilege and an honor for me to be able to address the ranks of the expelled, the out-of-favor and the disenfranchised. Thanks to all of you, I have been able to more thoroughly catalogue the wide range of activities for which you can be expelled. As you know, Crowley left a rather sketchy accounting of the offenses warranting expulsion or other punitive action. He seemed to be some kind of anarcho-libertarian with a disdain for rules and order! Luckily, he's not around to be in charge of the Order today! Anyway, although the complete revised set of rules which every Thelemite should abide by consists of 120 meg worth of data which only I can access (as soon as I remember the password), here is a partial list of naughty things for which people have been expelled, suspended, bad reported, or brought up on charges: not paying dues; threatening members; being rumored to have threatened members; molesting little boys; being Frater Achad; being Kenneth Grant; ripping off Crowley stuff and giving it to Charlie Manson; buying Boleskine and not sharing; bookstealing; rentstealing; being rumored to steal; psychic rape; annoying my business partners; publishing secret stuff; claiming psychic attack victory when anything bad happens to your enemies; writing mean letters; repeating sanctuary gossip; possessing documents; being impertinent; being the relative, lover or spouse of anyone who has done any of the above or just generally being an icky person. Those of you reading this who haven't actually been thrown out yet may have committed some of these offenses yourself, or you may know someone who has. In this case, it is your duty to fink. Remember, I bestow political rewards on those with the good taste to fink on their brethren, especially if I can benefit personally. And those of you who are wise enough to fink on yourselves will have the clear conscience of knowing you told the truth, even if it is to your own detriment. I am more enlightened than you, and I am especially qualified to judge your actions, so fink even if the particular offense isn't on this partial list. It might be on the secret list, which you aren't allowed to see. So don't let your ego get in the way of the establishment of the law of Thelema! Drop that dime! Rat on a brother or sister today! -------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM THE CROWLEY ARCHIVES This cryptic note was found enscribed on a piece of paper found stuck to the original manuscript of Liber Al. The Master Beta found it while he was orgiastically fondling the document, which is kept in a secret place in New York where no one can see it. It reads as follows: eggs kippers leavings of red wine 3 tins each heroin and cocaine white stain remover What could this secret message mean? There is a reference to eggs, which, as we all know, are a part of the Secret of the Sanctuary! Leavingsof red wine are mentioned in Liber Al! If you translate this message into Hebrew and add up all the letters, it comes to 3812, which is 93 times 41.8, almost! According to _The Unexpurgated Sephir Sephiroth_ (9 volumes, Dweeb Press, 1990), this number stands for Vague Apathy, Hemorrhoidal Bleeding, the angel Gnarliel and Get A Life, You Kabbalah Nerd! If you find another secret meaning to this message, please send it to Frater Tweekmore, care of the Grand Lodge. ------------------------------------------------------------------- NEW O.T.O. PRODUCTS Soror Sodomy is producing a new line of greeting cards especially for people who have been suspended, expelled, or otherwise disciplined. Buy some to keep in stock, just in case! Frater Brownnose is manufacturing a special line of sex magick condoms which come in a variety of colors, flavors and sigils. Additionally, they come in a variety of sizes, from the petite 'Los Angeles' model to the medium-sized 'New Yorker' style. The cleverly designed 'Expelled Member' model has hundreds of raised pleasure bumps, ridges and hexagrams. It also freezes well, in case you want to preserve your precious bodily fluids for future enjoyment or perhaps mail them to secret English sex magick societies. ------------------------------------------------------------------- EXCITING CONTEST! Can you name all of the past Grand Secretaries General? If you can, you may be eligible for a drawing to win the 'Grand Secretary General For A Day' contest. Simply list all of the people that you think have been Grand Secretary General and send your list to the Office of the Supreme Grand High Illuminated Pontiff in New York. All correctly spellchecked entries will be eligible. ------------------------------------------------------------------- CROWLEYCOMP NEWS Will fuckyou person who modemed fuckyou program 'Leisure Suit Larry in Modes and Emblems' to fuckyou CrowleyComp bulletin board please identify yourself? Fuckyou program contained a worm in fuckyou form of a program which replaced all repetitions of a common English word in our computer files with an Anglo-Saxon expletive. We believe we have successfully debugged fuckyou computer system, although some of us believe that the program was only modified, so that fuckyou screen appears normal but fuckyou printed text is altered. The person who did this should be ashamed to be a Fuckyoulemite. ------------------------------------------------------------------- FIND THE FRATERNITY CONTEST Are they in Fairfax? New York? JAF? Buffalo? Riverside? A wonderful prize may be waiting for you if you can find the fraternity! If you know where to mail your entry, you are probably a winner! ------------------------------------------------------------------ LODGE AND CAMP REPORTS Unfortunately, all of the bodies who remembered to send in their reports have been suspended or expelled. Why do you need to read local gossip any way? The news from New York should be enough for you. How much do you really know about New York, anyway? Everything is fine. ------------------------------------------------------------------ ELECTORAL COLLEGE REPORT The former president has fled in terror, to be replaced by Frater Leroy. Ask Frater Leroy about the original Missing Link some time. We at the Broken Link all approve heartily of this latest change in the hierarchy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- FORMER MEMBERS' REPORT The former members are all doing fine. Those who never joined in the first place are doing fine. We have good jobs, fantastic sex lives and are invited to the best parties. We are very happy not to be donating our energy wholesale to a bunch of neurotic psychic vampires. This leaves us more energy for our own pursuits! ------------------------------------------------------------------- LAWSUIT ROUNDUP This week the focus is on libel suits. So far the score has been in our favor. Here is a handy libel suit chart: Book: Motta's _Equinox_ What it said about the Order: Various bad things about Grady, Phyllis, Heidrick, etc. Resolution of suit: The case went to the Supreme Court, which ruled in favor of everyone but Heidrick. Book: _Ghost Story_ What it said about the Order: It is a secret club of vampires. Resolution of suit: Money, Order name changed to 'X.X.X.' in future editions. Book: _The Ultimate Evil_ What it said about the Order: It is a Satanic cult who essentially told Charlie Manson to do it. Resolution of suit: Apology, money. Book: _The Family_ What it said about the Order: Jean Brayton was once a member and she told Charlie Manson to do it. Resolution of suit: Chapter excised from future editions. Book: _Painted Black_ What it said about the Order: It is a Satanic cult whose newletters contain self-serving drivel. Resolution of suit: Settled very recently, probably for nuisance value, as official announcement was rather understated. Publishers promised to print nicer editions in the future. Book: _High Weirdness by Mail_ What it said about the Order: It is composed of antisocial rejects and resentful nerds. Resolution of suit: No suit filed for some reason. __________________________________________________________________ Love is the law, love under duress. 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