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Is Hell Hot or Not?

To: alt.magick.tyagi,alt.satanism,alt.evil,alt.christnet,sci.philosophy.meta
From: (nocTifer)
Subject: Is Hell Hot or Not?
Date: 16 Jun 1998 12:56:15 -0700

[forwarded from a friend]

A true story.  A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam 
for his graduate students.  It had one question: "Is hell exothermic or 
endothermic? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's      
Law or some variant.  One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.  So, at what
rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?    
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell 
[whether you beleive there is one or not], it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.  As for souls entering hell, lets
look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some    
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their        
religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of       
these religions and people do not [usually] belong to more than one    
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially.  

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. 

Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure 
in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and 
volume needs to stay constant.
#1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.
#2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the          
increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will     
drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Therese
Banyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell
before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I       
still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then    #2 
cannot be true, and hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

-- (emailed replies may be posted); 408/2-666-SLUG
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