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a cache of usenet and other text files pertaining
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a cache of usenet and other text files pertaining
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To: tariqas@europe.std.com From: nagasiva@luckymojo.com (haramullah) Subject: Fishing For Whales 50000404 IVom assalam alaykum, my kin. a correspondent wrote: > ...I don't know why my posts are looked at as imposing my beliefs > on others? I try to use words like I think, I guess, my speculation. > In fact I feel the other way round, I feel some fellows are trying > to impose on me a style to use, or puts limits on whom I quote and > what issue I discuss or even on my speculations!. Those, who > think I'm imposing, look again...why not, you too are imposing? is it not beautiful that we are drawn to those with whom we share a need for instruction on similar if not the same issues? I have struggled with this exact problem during a portion of my life. at times previous and occasionally of late I am told that I am *not* forceful enough, not well-enough defined and resolute in expression. being meek and battered for speaking without thought, I withdrew to the safety of quietude and imperceptibility. I found a place which nobody could touch and rested there, as perched on a nest and waiting for my wings to feather. studying and wrestling with the great teachers of the ages (philosophers), I debated them and railed at them in their stoic solidity, like battling with a punching bag or a target into which I may shoot holes. criticized for 'never taking a stand during discussion', I then explored, venturing out on long piers to fish for whales. at times I would be consumed by large monsters from the sea. in more pacific waters I learned that I could walk to the other end of the pier and the fishing would be nearly as good. but the fish I caught would sometimes cry for the pain of the hook in their mouth. I took pity on them and began to coax the littlest ones near to the pier with portions of bread, small questions of large import that every beginner asks and for which every arrogant "teacher" knows the Answer (conclusive, ask no more questions here, student!). so it was that I found no difference between teacher and student, save that the one is comfortable with the process of reflection and consideration while the latter will sometimes anger and impatiently demand easy solutions of their own or someone else's selection. and I suppose that I have also wanted easy solutions. finding none, perhaps I set about challenging all the easy solutions that seemed to satisfy others. bested by an inflatable clown, perhaps I wished to pit this clown against others to see how they would fare. is it not humbling that the difficulties we experience we project upon our comrades and ascribe to them the exact obstacles we ourselves cannot overcome? > what my Sufi friend in PA told me:"We only have the illusion > that our life is stable, but we all have no stability just as > you, for life is about change and you don't know what change > will happen next or how huge is it". I love her ways...she > gives assurance and hope. what compassion! what breadth of forgiveness and insight! > ...I was afraid to open the letters seeing my name on the > titles. I felt I want to stay in the group, yet I don't know > how to deal with it, or if I would be accepted. so easy to finger a member of the cast and make them the subject of the play. often this is done to those who are shy or on the verge of some personal growth. sometimes it is an aggressive attempt to squelch the certitude of another and 'put them in their place'. usually it results from personality clashes. you are accepted here, kindred. rest easy and know that there are those of us who understand your struggles, welcoming you in all your facets, your stridency and your uncertainty. your heart is true, and there is no rebuke coming from this quarter. only a handshake and a smile while greeting. peace be with you, haramullah
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