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To: alt.magick,alt.magick.tyagi,alt.occult.methods,alt.paranormal.spells.hexes.magic
From: catherine yronwode 
Subject: Re: Sharing ritual tools between mates (lovers)
Date: Mon, 22 Jul 2002 07:40:40 GMT

Rick wrote:
> 
> Urbanmonk wrote:
> 
> > In general what do peole think about the sharing of ritual tools?
> 
> There are specific tools that I don't let other people use and tools I
> only use with one other person. But then my brand of magick is
> particularly intimate and personal.
> 
> > Say for example you live with someone, a wife or finacee, and you 
> > often do rituals together, it would sometimes be very clumsy to have 
> > two sets of ritual tools present. What is suggested for this 
> > situation? are ritual tools shared at rituals in which you are not 
> > alone?
> 
> Why not? If you're following the GD model, use one set of elementals,
> each participant with their own lotus/rainbow wand. If it bothers you 
> to have someone else handle *your* fire wand because you got 
> particularly sexually charged when you consecrated it and now it feels 
> like *your* penis when you handle it, or some such thing, then I'd 
> suggest making a communal set of elemental weapons, constructed and 
> consecrated with communal use in mind.

In the case of my husband and i, when we got together, we each had our
own ritual tools. We each maintain them in our own spaces in the house.
He uses a letter opener as an athame and a machete as a sword, for
instance, and has for at least half a decade... while i am more into
antique or antique-reproduction artistry in such matters. But we each
recognize the other's sincerity of purppose and when doing a ritual
together, we might pick up something from one altar or another, or even
improvise any needed tools. 

Owning a magic shop means that we can even go "shopping" together in the
night for items to use in rites. Friday last, for instance, we realized
we needed a certain kind of pink candle for a work we are doing, and we
ran down from the bedroom together, up the path to the shop, turned on
the lights, and i grabbed a pink candle -- but them handed it to him,
and he carried it back to the house. We've kinda funny that way.

> > If as above you live with someone who you are very close with, and 
> > who also practices the same brand of high magick that you do. How 
> > can one do their rituals with someone else in the rooms? keep in 
> > mind I am a college student, who lives in a basement appartment. 
> > most rituals are done at night as not too disturb the other in the \> > house.
> 
> Hmm.. you could go super loud and all scary-like, intimidate the third
> party into silent terror. That at least guarantees you'll be left 
> alone.Failing that, you can talk to the person about what you're doing 
> and insist on privacy when you're doing it. That way, you can 
> concentrate without worrying about being walked in on (sort of like 
> having your  mom catch you masturbating), and if you are sensitive and 
> communicate  well, could allay any discomfort the third might have 
> from wondering  what the hell's going on down there.

My advice would be to not disturb the people in the other apartment(s)
in the house. Unless, of course, as Rick suggests, you can talk to them
about what you are doing. 

> Or you could tell the third that you two are into really kinky sex and
> that he or she should ignore any strange sounds that waft up through 
> the floor.

Silly. 
 
> You may think of other options, but other than those I've mentioned,
> you're pretty much stuck with doing it when the third is out. That's
> probably not a good option for you in any case.

There are reasons why old texts on the practice of ceremonial magic (and
Chinese sexual alchemy too, for that matter) often include a guide to
where one should live. It may be an inconvenience, but finding a more
rivate living situation may be important for one's develomental
progress  in ceremonial magic. Abramelin thought so. :)

> > since it  is nighttime my lady would
> > always be in the same room as me in bed. I am wondering on how to
> > encorporate this into my daily practices (LBRP , LBRH, Middle 
> > Pillar, Astral Project, Ritual Skrying etc, Greater pent rituals 
> > etc) since these rituals tend to be of a more solo nature what does 
> > one do in this situation?
> 
> It's excellent practice and generally useful work to do those rituals
> astrally. You could also devise tandem versions of them and do them
> together (also good practice and good work on all levels--from design 
> to bonding with your best girl).

Both of these ideas are good advice., Astral workings have been
incredibly fertile trainings for me. When i was in jail for growing pot,
in 1967 in Spokane, Washington, i made special arrangements with the
warden to have time alone for my "religious meditation" by being locked
up alone in the drunk tank, which was usually empty in mid-afternoon. I
practiced all manner of things there, but only astrally, as i had to
appear to be engaged in "religious meditation" if observed by a trustee.
It was great practice for me, and very productive. Not worth going to
jail to experience, perhaps -- or maybe it was, actually ... Yes, i
think it actually was. Hmmm. 

> > would it be more important to find another room of the house, or  
> > an outdoor area to do rituals (this may be very tiresome at night 
> > outside)
> 
> I'm big on outdoor, but I do a more primal sort of thing. I do have to
> pick my places carefully, as some of the stuff I do could get me
> arrested.

I am another one who endorses outdoor rituals.  

> > or would say
> > colaborative daily practices work just as well? (one person does the 
> > LBRP, while the other does th  LBRH or Tarot reading)
> 
> See above.

How you handle this as a couple may set the tone for a lot of how you
interact as a couple. 

> > In large rituals such as
> > evocations it is easier to encorporate someone into the ritual, but
> > evocations are a more rare occurance, how does one deal with the 
> > simple daily practices, or a charging or a talisman? Does it make a 
> > difference if the people are very close, and practice well 
> > together ?
> 
> If everyone gets on well, the more the merrier.

Yes, or you can each work alone, as long as that is agreeable. 

I think the idea is to reach consensus here. What that consensus *looks
like* may not be as important as *reaching* it.  

> My general advice is to worry less about following the guidelines 
> you've been reading to the letter and to look at the intent of them, 
> then do what's most practical for your present situation to meet the 
> intent. If Kraig advises that you shut yourself out of the sight of 
> others to do your daily work, it's mostly so that you can concentrate 
> and get fully into it, not be distracted, and so that you don't scare 
> anyone. So find a way to do your work with full concentration and 
> without scaring anyone.

Again, do consider the possibility of finding a better living space. If
it were me, i would be performing a work to manifest a more private,
more magic-friendly home right away! 

cat yronwode 

     Lucky Mojo Curio Co. http://www.luckymojo.com/catalogue.html