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Subject: REMEMBERING FORGOTTEN GODS A CRAFT RITUAL HONORING CHOCOLATE By Steve Piziks I don't think the Aztecs knew what they were starting. Oh, they called Xocatl the drink of the Gods, certainly, but they probably had no idea that Xocatl would give rise to the even greater deities Godiva, Nestle, Hershey and Cadbury. Many of us enjoy these deities on a daily (all right, hourly) basis, yet so many people do not take the time to revere them properly, possibly because most of us do not know how (or, more likely, do not possess the necessary willpower). This ritual, performed at the 1992 Pagan Spirit Gathering (PSG), is designed for those longing to fulfill an essential part of their spiritual paths. I am speaking, naturally, of Chocolate Rites. This ritual is good for one of those evenings when it is your turn to host the monthly coven meeting, and you haven't the foggiest idea what to do. Though this ritual might be called "light" at best and "downright silly" at worst, even the most dignified Craft practitioner is hard pressed to scoff at the chance to scarf down a pound or two of the God and Goddess incarnate. CELEBRATING CHOCOLATE RITUAL You will need: chunks of milk Chocolates, dark Chocolate, baking Chocolate, Chocolate chips, hot Chocolate (or chocolate syrup), a box of Chocolates, a stick of your favorite incense, a Chocolate Venus of Willendorf, and a Chocolate Horned God (a Chocolate Egg and a Chocolate rabbit will do in a pinch). A large fingerbowl or packet of baby wipes is highly recommended. Setup: An area large enough for everyone to stand in (preferably outside- -this ritual can get messy). An altar with plates, bowls, cups and boxes of the above ingredients set up as follows: EAST : milk Chocolate SOUTH : dark Chocolate (including baked products such as brownies) WEST : hot chocolate (or Chocolate syrup) NORTH : baking chocolate CENTER: Chocolates. The Goddess and God figures should be placed on either side of the chocolates. Before beginning: Xocatl and his children are accompanied by literally thousands of tiny hangers-on that must be dealt with before beginning the ritual. Priest/ess says: "Before we begin, we must rid this circle of evil. (Wave incense.) Be gone, terror of the waistline. Flee, evil of the thighs. Leave us, horrors of the double chin. Calories may not enter here!" All: "Tastes Great! Less fattening! Tastes Great! Less fattening!" Now the circle is cast. EAST-MILK CHOCOLATE: Use chocolate chips to draw a quarter circle from North to East. The other participants may try to catch them in their mouths. Priest/ess (all repeating): "Hail, Chocolate of the East, milk Chocolate, milk, healing, and comforting." Eat a piece of milk Chocolate (so can the people standing at the East). Sigh with rapture. SOUTH-DARK CHOCOLATE: Use the Chocolate chips to draw a quarter circle from East to South. Priest/ess (all repeating): "Hail, Chocolate of the South, dark Chocolate, primal, passionate, patron of Mounds Bars." Eat a piece of dark Chocolate (so can the people standing at the South). Laugh or growl passionately. WEST-HOT CHOCOLATE: Use the chocolate chips to draw a quarter circle from the South to the West. Priest/ess (all repeating): "Hail, Chocolate of the West, flowing, flexible, winter solace" (Or "ice cream perfecter" if using syrup). Drink some of the hot Chocolate (so can the people standing at West). Say, "Mmmmmmmmm!" while rubbing stomach. NORTH-BAKING CHOCOLATE: Use chocolate chips to draw a quarter circle from West to North. Priest/ess (all repeating): "Hail, Chocolate of the North, Chocolate mass, basis for all Chocolate, bitter as death and something we only want once." Eat a piece of baker's Chocolate (so can the people standing at North, IF anyone wants it.) Nod in serious contemplation. CENTER-CHOCOLATE: Throw the remaining Chocolate cips in the air in the middle of the circle. Priest/ess (all repeating): "Hail, Chocolate of the Center, Chocolates, synthesis of all, holder of secrets delicious and disgusting." Choose a Chocaolate (so can the people standing at the Center). Check the middle by pushing your thumb into the bottom. If it's one you like, eat it joyfully. If not, try to foist it off on someone else. INVOCATION OF THE GODDESS AND GOD Pick up the Venus figure (or Chocolate Egg). Priest/ess (all repeating): "Hail, Great Godess Godiva!" Bite off her head. Pass the rest out to the participants for further enjoyment. Pick up the Horned God figure (or Chocolate Bunny). Priest/ess (all repeating): "Hail, great God Nestle!" Bite off his head. Pass the rest out to the participants for further enjoyment. Chant to the Tune of "The Earth, the Air, the Fire, the Water..." the following: The milk, the dark, hot Chocolate (or "the syrup"), the bitter, return, return, return, return, return. So good, so good, so good, so good, yum- yum, yum-yum, yum-yum, yum-yum. (Repeat.) FINAL INVOCATION Everyone takes a piece of his or her favorite Chocolate. Have evreyone place his/her right hand over the Chocolate. Priest/ess (all repeating): I vow to remember the small, sweet things in life, to enjoy the delectable moments, and to give in to temptation of Thurdsays. So mote it be. Eat the Chocolate. OPENING THE CIRCLE Face each direction with a bit of the appropriate Chocolate. Give thanks to the Chocolate of that direction. Throw the bit of Chocolate away as a libation. Yes, this takes a great deal of self control, but it must be done. Walk solemnly to the center of the circle. Shout "PIG OUT!" Do so. HINTS For large groups, the Priest/ess might want to ask different participants to bring some of the Chocolates. A persuasive Priest/ess can therefore, given enough participants, get away without having to buy any Chocolate at all (though it's a good idea to keep this fact to yourself). If you must buy the Chocolate yourself, buy it in bits and pieces, so to speak, and stash it in your freezer until you have enough. Post- Valentine's Day Chocolates are invariably half-priced and are perfect for Center. Chocolate bunnies and eggs abound just after Easter. Caloric banishment notwithstanding, sugarless hot Chocolate is an ideal way to allow diabetics and dieters into the ritual without compromising their physical requirements. Masochistic dieters are encouraged to stand in the North and soak up excess baker's Chocolate. Would an ancient Greek have sacrificed a papyrus cow to Zeus and expected a positive response? Of course not. Therefore, carob, so-called white Chocolate and artificially flavored Chocolate have no place in this ritual. ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ We don't give a damn if you enjoy this quality file leeched from... E X T R E M E ------------+------------ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ /|\ ³ ³ / | \ ³ Portland Metro All Text BBS ³ / | \ ³ ³ / | \ ³ 14400: 503.775.0374 ³ / | \ ³ SysOp: Thing One ³ / | \ ³ ³ / | \ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ d r e a m e s
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